Hi Lydia! I just took a look at your storybook and introduction and it looks like it is coming together well so far! I love the design of your homepage, it fits your title well and definitely intrigues me to read your introduction. I like that you are writing about Lakshmi and Vishnu! I read about them a couple of weeks ago and thought that their story was very interesting and intriguing. I think you will have plenty of material to work with and will really be able to make it your own. I like that you picked a love story. Love stories are my favorite to read and I am interested to see how your storybook comes along! Good luck!
I have not read any of your stories yet, so I decided to read your introduction to see what your storybook will be about! I love the story of Lakshmi and Vishnu, as it seems like their love is eternal. I think it is adorable how they always find each other regardless of what form they are in. This is seen in "The Ramayana" when Rama and Sita are infatuated with each other and get happily married. I believe the image you had perfectly captures their relationship and how beautiful they are together. I am intrigued in your stories, as Vishnu and Lakshmi definitely withstand many trials!! I am really interested in what stories you decide to tell. You could definitely use the story from "The Ramayana" when Sita gets taken by the evil Ravana and Rama has to search for her for a long time. He then "throws her" in to the fire to prove her innocence from "living" with another man. Good luck with your storybook!
Hello Lydia! I came across your storybook and introduction and found it so intriguing. This topic is so fun and interesting to read about. I think the story of Vishnu and Lakshmi is so interesting because I find the themes such as eternal lovers/ star crossed lovers to be so entertaining. I have always been drawn to love stories, so I am excited to see what your storybook will look like as you progress. Also, your introduction page is so beautiful. I think the banner suits your page and what you are writing about perfectly. Keep it up. :)
Hi Lydia! First, I would like to say that the title of your portfolio was intriguing. Your introduction really immerses me in the subject; what a great topic! Besides, it is interesting to know more about Vishnu and Lakshmi’s love story, not about their avatar we know such as Rama and Sita. As you said, both are soulmates; it is written in the stars; however, their love is full of pitfalls. The two complement each other; what a beautiful relationship! I really loved their couple of Rama and Sita, but their ending was so unfair and sad; I’m curious to see how both of them will end up reading your following stories – if you end up talking about them. So, I’m impatient to read your story and how their avatar will overcome their obstacles and see how you will write it; Is it going to be like a play, or will it be fictionalized? Will you introduce other avatars than Rama and Sita?
Hey Lydia! Can I just say that I love the title and the background pictures that you chose for your storybook? I decided to stop on your storybook because of the title and your sci-fi inspired storybook. Your design layout and the way the stories seem to reach across a vast area of land is just beautiful. I have always been drawn to sci-fi and space ever since I was a little kid. Your introduction is so well thought out. I love how Lakshmi and Vishnu have such a strong connection to each other that the avatars that are reincarnated from them are always drawn towards each other on earth. It is amazing that even through all the struggles they have been through in their past lives; they have that hope that they will find each other again. I love romance stories, and I hope that Fate does not mess up their love story in this time period. I cannot wait for you to continue with your project and these stories.
Hi Lydia! I love the vibe of your storybook! Everything from the pictures to your fonts makes it very cool and sci-fi themed. I also think your introduction reads just like a movie or book synopsis. It does a great job of introducing us to the characters and setting up the stakes of the story. I really want to read more! I don’t think your introduction needs many more suggestions, but for the sake of trying, I will say that I wonder if you could give more of a clue of what your stories will be about. Are you focusing on one set of Vishnu and Lakshmi’s avatars or will each story deal with a different incarnation? It’s also totally find if you want to leave this a mystery for the reader to discover as they go along, though. I like that you give equal description to both Vishnu and Lakshmi and I wonder whose point of view you’re going to tell the stories in or if it will change. I think you’ve got a lot of cool possibilities and I’m excited to see where you go with it!
Lydia!! I told you this already, but I love your concept for your storybook! The way you set up your introduction was so mysterious and interesting and well-thought out. I honestly forgot I was reading something that was for a class project. I love how you set up the rest of your storybook too--the "3, 3, 1" part at the end was a nice cliffhanger. One thing I am still a bit confused on is how Lakshmi is representative of Dharma, Kama, Artha, and Moksha, and yet it is Vishnu who restores Dharma? It honestly sounds like she could do it all on her own. I guess I just don't get why it's Vishnu doing the restoring when she's the representation. Maybe you could add a bit to explain that a little more? It could honestly just be in the author's note, like how you explained yuga. Besides that, I can't wait to read more! Great job!!
Hi Lydia! I love your story and the theme you took on. I also enjoy your site. It is clean, clear and well organized. I also like your overall theme. I like how you explored the connection between Lakshmi and Vishnu. I think that is an intriguing idea to pursue writing about. Right after reading your story about Sita I really liked how you formatted the story. I was caught off guard when I realised that Sita did not survive and Rama lived the rest of his life alone. I liked how the story gave more of a voice to Sitas torture that she would have experienced by being held captive. While I found it a bit dark I like how you properly represented the helplessness and darkness of a person who is in a dark depression. It also gave a great depth and quite a bit of meaning to the story. I can't wait to read what you will write next!
Lydia! I enjoyed the picture on your home page so much! The stars in the background go with theme of “star crossed lovers”. The first sentence on your homepage made me want to read on! It reminded me of a front cover of a book, where the author rights the gist of the story! In the introduction, I enjoyed how you introduced both Vishnu and Lakshmi, and explained the powers they hold. The explanation of how they are in the “heavenly realm” compared to their life they have on earth, was very educating. I have never thought about it in that sense and appreciate that you gave this insight. The avatar versions are as you said, “lost souls”. Reading “Beneath the Ashoka Tree” was a deeper conversation. I did like how you incorporated a new storyline that best fit the way you anticipated to covey this. You did not add Hanuman as an intervention, as the original did. Overall, a very good job!
Hi Lydia. First of all I love the layout of not only your storybook, but your comment wall as well. I think it really goes with the theme that you are trying to portray and it is very unique. As for your introduction just by reading the first sentence I was super excited. I am a big sucker for love stories and I was so excited to see what you were going to come up with. I found it to be really exciting that you chose to focus on the love between Vishnu and Lakshmi. I am used to seeing love stories over Rama and Sita, but this is different and I wanted to learn more. You gave a great background and especially for those who might not be as familiar with the characters this was really helpful. I felt like I really understood the characters and was ready to read about the stories you had to come. Overall great job and I am excited to see what more you come up with.
Great job so far on your storybook. I decided to choose yours when it came time to choose from the class list because of the title. "Star-Crossed" grabbed my attention because it's a term we use all the time and I assumed it would be about star-crossed lovers. I think the idea of star-crossed lovers is something that will always interest us as humans and Vishnu and Lakshmi are the perfect example.
This week's feedback focus is images, and I think yours are great! I especially like the two that show the stars/galaxy, which really captures the idea that there is a bigger power at play here in the lives these two lead as humans. And then I think the ones that are attached to your stories so far really capture the feel of those. The raindrops convey sadness/loneliness when we read about Sita's story, which is what she would have been feeling. And the tree branches convey something creepy/scary, and of course Anushka was extremely scared as she realized she was being followed.
I look forward to reading your third installment of this storybook, keep up the great work!
Hello Lydia, first I read your introduction and thought that it was very good and intriguing. I like how you added some background information about Vishnu and Lakshmi and a little bit about their adventure that will occur in your stories. Next, I read Beneath the Ashoka Tree, and I really like how changed it to fit your topic and including Dharma. One question I have is did the killing of Lanka disrupt the balance of peace? Or what happened after Rama died? Did the balance of peace get disrupted again or once it was fixed it was fixed? Overall, I thought that your story was really good, and I enjoyed how you changed it to fit the Dharma and it was influenced. I look forward to reading the rest of your stories!
Hi Lydia. I just finished reading your introduction and I really liked it. What I liked is how you are writing a story about Vishnu and Lakshmi which is a large part of any epic in which Vishnu is reincarnated to restore balance. What I liked about your introduction was how detailed you were. You did a really good job explaining how Vishnu's purpose was to restore balance, but you also made sure to emphasize how Vishnu also has his own personality and that he is not as serious as he may initially seem. I also read your first story Beneath the Ashoka Tree and I thought it was really good. What I liked was how you focus on the point of view of Sita. And even though it is a different version of what happened in the Ramayana, I still feel like you did a good job of explaining what Sita was feeling while she was waiting for Rama to come save. And I really liked that, because we do not really see what Sita is feeling as Rama is on his way to save him.
Hi Lydia! I love your storybook soo much so far. I'm actually in the Myth and Folklore course and this is the first storybook I've read from Epics of India, and I'm very glad that this served as my introduction to these storybooks. I really appreciate how you play with the reincarnation and remanifestation of the avatars of these two gods, and how their very earthly struggles relate to their divine connection and station. That said, I felt a little confused about this relationship in your second story - the interpretation is really unique, situating these gods in modern contexts with relationship issues that are salient for your contemporary audience was a brilliant move. However, the sort of divine station of these beings feels a little lost in the normalcy, at least from how I read the story. The deja vu and the sort of appeal to gods were really subtle ways of trying to tie these two realms together, but I wonder if there's more room to make their struggle and relationship seem more timeless? That said, I also think your storytelling is quite elegant and well-executed, very easy to read but also extremely rich. I'll certainly have to come back to read the rest!
Hi, again, Lydia! I read your introduction a few weeks ago, and now I have read the two remaining stories for this week. Beneath the Ashora Tree: I think you depicted well Sita’s emotions and feelings, I could feel it. I can understand why Sita chose suicide instead of being killed by someone else. It is a tragic end for her, but it’s also “courageous” of her, which depicts her personality in Ramayana. Adding a trigger warning and resources is really thoughtful. Hiding in the Shadows: Creating your own avatars is such a good idea! I was so scared for Anu but also so mad at Ravi’s comment. I was so immersed in your story; I think you portrayed the suspense and tension fully. The focus for this week is the author’s note. So, I think yours is very concise and neat. It explains your approach well. Your website is clear and easy to navigate. Thanks for your story; I enjoyed it once again!
Hi Lydia! I went to read the story "Beneath the Ashoka Tree". I love and appreciate how you put a warning before the story and left the number for the hotline and other resources. I am thankful for that trigger because I have struggled with that myself. It is so important to warn people and I appreciate your warning. Because of your warning, I did not read "Beneath the Ashoka Tree", so I ended up reading "Hiding in the Shadows". It was super interesting. You are a great writer! There is great use of imagery in your story. I also enjoy your website. The theme remains constant. I enjoy how each page is designed. Your website is easy to navigate. Keep up the great work!
Hello Lydia! I decided to read your story "Beneath the Ashoka Tree." First of all, I would like to say that I really appreciate the warning you put before the story. Someone in my family has unfortunately died by suicide so I really am happy whenever I see awareness. In regard to your story, I really enjoyed reading it. How you formatted it was beautiful, especially the dialogue spoken by the rakshasis whenever they were mocking Sita. I think you also approached Sita's mental health in a way that wasn't cheesy or overwhelming. What I mean by that is that you display this emotion of despair without stereotyping or glorifying suicide. This of course is a touchy subject, so I think you did very well approaching that. Overall, good job!
Hi Lydia! I love how your blog is set up where the story and the author's note have their own "blocks." I think that's such a great idea — I should have implemented it into mine! As for your story, I really enjoyed reading it. I thought your formatting was well done, and it helped the story really flow. Your writing is great as well, so that added to it!
Hi Lydia, Wow, the first thing I want to say is that your introduction truly engages the reader to click the next page. Especially at the end when you added, "3 star-crossed lovers 3 different yugas* 1 never-ending cycle." At least for me, it really drew me in and engaged me to read on. Throughout your story book you also italicize words after certain perks in the story such as, "Achievement complete. New memory unlocked." This alone made the story flow well in my head. I don't know if I'm the only one but I always read these captions as a really deep and loud overhead voice that the "gamekeeper" plays for example. Overall I thought your story was really fun to read, especially with the Indian Epic twist you threw into it with Vishnu and Lakshmi. I can honestly say I tried thoroughly to find something to critique, but simply couldn't. So, great job Lydia!
Hey Lydia, Your storybook is fantastic. I really love the theme of Vishnu and Lakshmi (or, more specifically, their avatars) as star-crossed lovers, and each story contributes a strong element to your overall narrative. Sita succumbing to despair was a harsh, but entirely too understandable, twist, and it sets up the reward portion of the finale very effectively. I also enjoyed seeing new avatars in the modern era - it really does add interesting factors to the "same" story - and that was an excellent segue into your sci-fi future setting for the last story, which gave me a very strong Mass Effect (video game) vibe (that's a good thing. The Citadel in that universe is such a cool concept, and you evoked the best parts about it.) Everything just works so well together, even down to the way you've formatted the pages...really awesome work. I wish I had some constructive feedback for you, but in any case I hope your semester went well. Good luck with your finals!
Hi Lydia! Your storybook page is so good. The layout of the page is amazing and I think it fits the story very well. When I first clicked on your page I actually got a star wars vibe from the page, and I still feel like that fits with the story. Especially since at the bottom of the introduction, you mentioned that the love story between Lakshmi and Vishnu lasted 3 eras. Also, I love how you have trigger warnings in your stories. I haven't seen that in another story and I think that it is such a good thing to include before stories. Your writing is also so beautiful. I got drawn into the story so quickly and it was very entertaining to read. I also like how you went more in-depth into Sita's time spent after she was kidnapped. I did feel in the original story that she was more of an afterthought or a piece in the story and I'm glad you chose to focus on her some.
Hi Lydia!
ReplyDeleteI just took a look at your storybook and introduction and it looks like it is coming together well so far! I love the design of your homepage, it fits your title well and definitely intrigues me to read your introduction. I like that you are writing about Lakshmi and Vishnu! I read about them a couple of weeks ago and thought that their story was very interesting and intriguing. I think you will have plenty of material to work with and will really be able to make it your own. I like that you picked a love story. Love stories are my favorite to read and I am interested to see how your storybook comes along! Good luck!
Hi Lydia,
ReplyDeleteI have not read any of your stories yet, so I decided to read your introduction to see what your storybook will be about! I love the story of Lakshmi and Vishnu, as it seems like their love is eternal. I think it is adorable how they always find each other regardless of what form they are in. This is seen in "The Ramayana" when Rama and Sita are infatuated with each other and get happily married. I believe the image you had perfectly captures their relationship and how beautiful they are together. I am intrigued in your stories, as Vishnu and Lakshmi definitely withstand many trials!! I am really interested in what stories you decide to tell. You could definitely use the story from "The Ramayana" when Sita gets taken by the evil Ravana and Rama has to search for her for a long time. He then "throws her" in to the fire to prove her innocence from "living" with another man. Good luck with your storybook!
Hello Lydia! I came across your storybook and introduction and found it so intriguing. This topic is so fun and interesting to read about. I think the story of Vishnu and Lakshmi is so interesting because I find the themes such as eternal lovers/ star crossed lovers to be so entertaining. I have always been drawn to love stories, so I am excited to see what your storybook will look like as you progress. Also, your introduction page is so beautiful. I think the banner suits your page and what you are writing about perfectly. Keep it up. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Lydia! First, I would like to say that the title of your portfolio was intriguing. Your introduction really immerses me in the subject; what a great topic! Besides, it is interesting to know more about Vishnu and Lakshmi’s love story, not about their avatar we know such as Rama and Sita. As you said, both are soulmates; it is written in the stars; however, their love is full of pitfalls. The two complement each other; what a beautiful relationship! I really loved their couple of Rama and Sita, but their ending was so unfair and sad; I’m curious to see how both of them will end up reading your following stories – if you end up talking about them. So, I’m impatient to read your story and how their avatar will overcome their obstacles and see how you will write it; Is it going to be like a play, or will it be fictionalized? Will you introduce other avatars than Rama and Sita?
ReplyDeleteHey Lydia!
ReplyDeleteCan I just say that I love the title and the background pictures that you chose for your storybook? I decided to stop on your storybook because of the title and your sci-fi inspired storybook. Your design layout and the way the stories seem to reach across a vast area of land is just beautiful. I have always been drawn to sci-fi and space ever since I was a little kid. Your introduction is so well thought out. I love how Lakshmi and Vishnu have such a strong connection to each other that the avatars that are reincarnated from them are always drawn towards each other on earth. It is amazing that even through all the struggles they have been through in their past lives; they have that hope that they will find each other again. I love romance stories, and I hope that Fate does not mess up their love story in this time period. I cannot wait for you to continue with your project and these stories.
Hi Lydia! I love the vibe of your storybook! Everything from the pictures to your fonts makes it very cool and sci-fi themed. I also think your introduction reads just like a movie or book synopsis. It does a great job of introducing us to the characters and setting up the stakes of the story. I really want to read more! I don’t think your introduction needs many more suggestions, but for the sake of trying, I will say that I wonder if you could give more of a clue of what your stories will be about. Are you focusing on one set of Vishnu and Lakshmi’s avatars or will each story deal with a different incarnation? It’s also totally find if you want to leave this a mystery for the reader to discover as they go along, though. I like that you give equal description to both Vishnu and Lakshmi and I wonder whose point of view you’re going to tell the stories in or if it will change. I think you’ve got a lot of cool possibilities and I’m excited to see where you go with it!
ReplyDeleteLydia!! I told you this already, but I love your concept for your storybook! The way you set up your introduction was so mysterious and interesting and well-thought out. I honestly forgot I was reading something that was for a class project. I love how you set up the rest of your storybook too--the "3, 3, 1" part at the end was a nice cliffhanger. One thing I am still a bit confused on is how Lakshmi is representative of Dharma, Kama, Artha, and Moksha, and yet it is Vishnu who restores Dharma? It honestly sounds like she could do it all on her own. I guess I just don't get why it's Vishnu doing the restoring when she's the representation. Maybe you could add a bit to explain that a little more? It could honestly just be in the author's note, like how you explained yuga. Besides that, I can't wait to read more! Great job!!
ReplyDeleteHi Lydia! I love your story and the theme you took on. I also enjoy your site. It is clean, clear and well organized. I also like your overall theme. I like how you explored the connection between Lakshmi and Vishnu. I think that is an intriguing idea to pursue writing about. Right after reading your story about Sita I really liked how you formatted the story. I was caught off guard when I realised that Sita did not survive and Rama lived the rest of his life alone. I liked how the story gave more of a voice to Sitas torture that she would have experienced by being held captive. While I found it a bit dark I like how you properly represented the helplessness and darkness of a person who is in a dark depression. It also gave a great depth and quite a bit of meaning to the story. I can't wait to read what you will write next!
ReplyDeleteLydia! I enjoyed the picture on your home page so much! The stars in the background go with theme of “star crossed lovers”. The first sentence on your homepage made me want to read on! It reminded me of a front cover of a book, where the author rights the gist of the story! In the introduction, I enjoyed how you introduced both Vishnu and Lakshmi, and explained the powers they hold. The explanation of how they are in the “heavenly realm” compared to their life they have on earth, was very educating. I have never thought about it in that sense and appreciate that you gave this insight. The avatar versions are as you said, “lost souls”. Reading “Beneath the Ashoka Tree” was a deeper conversation. I did like how you incorporated a new storyline that best fit the way you anticipated to covey this. You did not add Hanuman as an intervention, as the original did. Overall, a very good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Lydia.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I love the layout of not only your storybook, but your comment wall as well. I think it really goes with the theme that you are trying to portray and it is very unique. As for your introduction just by reading the first sentence I was super excited. I am a big sucker for love stories and I was so excited to see what you were going to come up with. I found it to be really exciting that you chose to focus on the love between Vishnu and Lakshmi. I am used to seeing love stories over Rama and Sita, but this is different and I wanted to learn more. You gave a great background and especially for those who might not be as familiar with the characters this was really helpful. I felt like I really understood the characters and was ready to read about the stories you had to come. Overall great job and I am excited to see what more you come up with.
Hi Lydia!
ReplyDeleteGreat job so far on your storybook. I decided to choose yours when it came time to choose from the class list because of the title. "Star-Crossed" grabbed my attention because it's a term we use all the time and I assumed it would be about star-crossed lovers. I think the idea of star-crossed lovers is something that will always interest us as humans and Vishnu and Lakshmi are the perfect example.
This week's feedback focus is images, and I think yours are great! I especially like the two that show the stars/galaxy, which really captures the idea that there is a bigger power at play here in the lives these two lead as humans. And then I think the ones that are attached to your stories so far really capture the feel of those. The raindrops convey sadness/loneliness when we read about Sita's story, which is what she would have been feeling. And the tree branches convey something creepy/scary, and of course Anushka was extremely scared as she realized she was being followed.
I look forward to reading your third installment of this storybook, keep up the great work!
Hello Lydia, first I read your introduction and thought that it was very good and intriguing. I like how you added some background information about Vishnu and Lakshmi and a little bit about their adventure that will occur in your stories. Next, I read Beneath the Ashoka Tree, and I really like how changed it to fit your topic and including Dharma. One question I have is did the killing of Lanka disrupt the balance of peace? Or what happened after Rama died? Did the balance of peace get disrupted again or once it was fixed it was fixed? Overall, I thought that your story was really good, and I enjoyed how you changed it to fit the Dharma and it was influenced. I look forward to reading the rest of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Lydia. I just finished reading your introduction and I really liked it. What I liked is how you are writing a story about Vishnu and Lakshmi which is a large part of any epic in which Vishnu is reincarnated to restore balance. What I liked about your introduction was how detailed you were. You did a really good job explaining how Vishnu's purpose was to restore balance, but you also made sure to emphasize how Vishnu also has his own personality and that he is not as serious as he may initially seem. I also read your first story Beneath the Ashoka Tree and I thought it was really good. What I liked was how you focus on the point of view of Sita. And even though it is a different version of what happened in the Ramayana, I still feel like you did a good job of explaining what Sita was feeling while she was waiting for Rama to come save. And I really liked that, because we do not really see what Sita is feeling as Rama is on his way to save him.
ReplyDeleteHi Lydia!
ReplyDeleteI love your storybook soo much so far. I'm actually in the Myth and Folklore course and this is the first storybook I've read from Epics of India, and I'm very glad that this served as my introduction to these storybooks. I really appreciate how you play with the reincarnation and remanifestation of the avatars of these two gods, and how their very earthly struggles relate to their divine connection and station. That said, I felt a little confused about this relationship in your second story - the interpretation is really unique, situating these gods in modern contexts with relationship issues that are salient for your contemporary audience was a brilliant move. However, the sort of divine station of these beings feels a little lost in the normalcy, at least from how I read the story. The deja vu and the sort of appeal to gods were really subtle ways of trying to tie these two realms together, but I wonder if there's more room to make their struggle and relationship seem more timeless?
That said, I also think your storytelling is quite elegant and well-executed, very easy to read but also extremely rich. I'll certainly have to come back to read the rest!
Hi, again, Lydia!
ReplyDeleteI read your introduction a few weeks ago, and now I have read the two remaining stories for this week.
Beneath the Ashora Tree: I think you depicted well Sita’s emotions and feelings, I could feel it. I can understand why Sita chose suicide instead of being killed by someone else. It is a tragic end for her, but it’s also “courageous” of her, which depicts her personality in Ramayana.
Adding a trigger warning and resources is really thoughtful.
Hiding in the Shadows: Creating your own avatars is such a good idea! I was so scared for Anu but also so mad at Ravi’s comment. I was so immersed in your story; I think you portrayed the suspense and tension fully.
The focus for this week is the author’s note. So, I think yours is very concise and neat. It explains your approach well.
Your website is clear and easy to navigate.
Thanks for your story; I enjoyed it once again!
Hi Lydia!
ReplyDeleteI went to read the story "Beneath the Ashoka Tree". I love and appreciate how you put a warning before the story and left the number for the hotline and other resources. I am thankful for that trigger because I have struggled with that myself. It is so important to warn people and I appreciate your warning. Because of your warning, I did not read "Beneath the Ashoka Tree", so I ended up reading "Hiding in the Shadows". It was super interesting. You are a great writer! There is great use of imagery in your story. I also enjoy your website. The theme remains constant. I enjoy how each page is designed. Your website is easy to navigate. Keep up the great work!
Hello Lydia!
ReplyDeleteI decided to read your story "Beneath the Ashoka Tree." First of all, I would like to say that I really appreciate the warning you put before the story. Someone in my family has unfortunately died by suicide so I really am happy whenever I see awareness. In regard to your story, I really enjoyed reading it. How you formatted it was beautiful, especially the dialogue spoken by the rakshasis whenever they were mocking Sita. I think you also approached Sita's mental health in a way that wasn't cheesy or overwhelming. What I mean by that is that you display this emotion of despair without stereotyping or glorifying suicide. This of course is a touchy subject, so I think you did very well approaching that. Overall, good job!
Hi Lydia! I love how your blog is set up where the story and the author's note have their own "blocks." I think that's such a great idea — I should have implemented it into mine! As for your story, I really enjoyed reading it. I thought your formatting was well done, and it helped the story really flow. Your writing is great as well, so that added to it!
ReplyDeleteHi Lydia,
ReplyDeleteWow, the first thing I want to say is that your introduction truly engages the reader to click the next page. Especially at the end when you added, "3 star-crossed lovers 3 different yugas* 1 never-ending cycle." At least for me, it really drew me in and engaged me to read on. Throughout your story book you also italicize words after certain perks in the story such as, "Achievement complete. New memory unlocked." This alone made the story flow well in my head. I don't know if I'm the only one but I always read these captions as a really deep and loud overhead voice that the "gamekeeper" plays for example. Overall I thought your story was really fun to read, especially with the Indian Epic twist you threw into it with Vishnu and Lakshmi. I can honestly say I tried thoroughly to find something to critique, but simply couldn't. So, great job Lydia!
Hey Lydia,
ReplyDeleteYour storybook is fantastic. I really love the theme of Vishnu and Lakshmi (or, more specifically, their avatars) as star-crossed lovers, and each story contributes a strong element to your overall narrative. Sita succumbing to despair was a harsh, but entirely too understandable, twist, and it sets up the reward portion of the finale very effectively. I also enjoyed seeing new avatars in the modern era - it really does add interesting factors to the "same" story - and that was an excellent segue into your sci-fi future setting for the last story, which gave me a very strong Mass Effect (video game) vibe (that's a good thing. The Citadel in that universe is such a cool concept, and you evoked the best parts about it.) Everything just works so well together, even down to the way you've formatted the pages...really awesome work. I wish I had some constructive feedback for you, but in any case I hope your semester went well. Good luck with your finals!
Hi Lydia!
ReplyDeleteYour storybook page is so good. The layout of the page is amazing and I think it fits the story very well. When I first clicked on your page I actually got a star wars vibe from the page, and I still feel like that fits with the story. Especially since at the bottom of the introduction, you mentioned that the love story between Lakshmi and Vishnu lasted 3 eras. Also, I love how you have trigger warnings in your stories. I haven't seen that in another story and I think that it is such a good thing to include before stories. Your writing is also so beautiful. I got drawn into the story so quickly and it was very entertaining to read. I also like how you went more in-depth into Sita's time spent after she was kidnapped. I did feel in the original story that she was more of an afterthought or a piece in the story and I'm glad you chose to focus on her some.